I am Strong
by Art of the Artichoke
Summary: A dead Lotus Assassin thinks back on his life while stuck in the land of the living as a ghost. Downgraded to T.


**I Am Strong**

_A dead Lotus Assassin thinks back on his life while stuck in the land of the living as a ghost._

"The punishment for disobedience is death." If only I had heeded my own words.

I loved my Jade Empire more than anything else. Our Emperor Sun Hai had saved this land from a never-ending drought. Not that I was alive to witness it, mind you. But I've heard stories of the "old days" and how difficult they were. My parents played a major rule in my decision to join the Lotus Assassins. And least I'd like to think so. "Our glorious, perfect, flawless nation, all thanks to the Emperor," is what they'd say. The day I turned 18, I signed up.

The Lotus Assassins only accept the best of the best. Lucky for me a recruiter took notice of my abilities in the Arena. One of the youngest fighters ever to reach the Silver Division. I was never prouder than that day. Years of training had finally paid off in the best way possible. I would help protect our Empire. I was tough. I was strong. There was little doubt in my mind that I'd achieve greatness. Long hours were spent in the grueling heat training with my sword. I was far from a natural at the beginning. I could barely lift a sword. But I worked my ass off. I deserved this.

What a fool I was to think practicing and fighting on my own was difficult. Upon arrival my head was shaven, along with the rest of the recruits. Then the true "difficulty"began. The Lotus Assassins feel no pain. On the first day we each were pitted against a fellow recruit, given no weapons. We are the Lotus Assassins. We are strong. And when ordered to fight to the death, we do so. I had never killed anyone before. Pure horror encased my whole body as I choked the life out of him. I didn't even know his name. His entire face and body were covered in bruises from my own two hands. The cold dead eyes were staring at me. "Good," I heard my trainer say. For those who are not strong don't deserve to live. Fight, or die fighting. I am not weak. I am strong.

The next few months were a just as fun as my first day. It is a ritual of the Lotus Assassins to completely scar and maim their bodies. Whipping was the method of choice. And after the blood ran down our skin, we were taught magic to deaden our nerves. I had no idea how it worked. It sure did burn though. Yet I did not scream. I was a Lotus Assassin. I was tough, I was strong. Those who cannot make it through training are worthless, weak. I felt nothing as I watched a recruit take her life. Her constant screaming was disturbing my sleep. Stay here long enough, and you no longer have the capacity to scream.

A full year had passed. I had made it. I had become one of them. Yet I watched constantly for subterfuge. Death by fellow Assassin is the most dangerous thing in our fortress. The strong root out the weak. It is our way. I grew known for my brutality. Our glorious Emperor ordered the construction of mighty Golems. These required human souls to run. The more agony the victim suffered before death, the stronger the Golem would be. Foolish peasant slaves offered little resistance. Their screams were pleasant to my ears. They were weak. The strong ruled over the weak. Simply the rules of nature. I could feel their eyes watching me, questioning me. What I'm doing wasn't wrong. It only strengthened our mighty Jade Empire. Emperor Sun Hai ordered the construction of these war machines. The Emperor had divine power over the land. He could never be questioned. His mighty station was above ours. Enjoying the slaves' pain was merely part of this process. For in doing so, it caused them to die with more agony. I was helping my Empire. I'd repeat it often just to remind myself.

A new recruit came, one unlike any other. Wu the Lotus Blossom, they called her. And somehow, she managed to bypass the mandatory training. There was something wrong there. She was far too powerful. I reminded her, the punishment for disobedience was death. She dare not question the might of the Lotus Assassins. My fellow Assassins did not know the things I knew. She was a rebel. This woman would only bring trouble, I knew it.

Late at night, I saw her leave the cave that was our lair. She was up to something. I followed her outside, and saw her meeting with another woman dressed like a ninja as well as a giant of a man I did not recognize. I caught the tall man asking something about crushing Lotus Assassin skulls, but that was soon drowned out by the ninja lady asking Wu if she had information about her father. "Silk Fox, calm down! I'll get the job done. I always do!" I heard Wu say.

"Princess kept bitching about your safety. I offered her some wine, but she wouldn't listen. Dragged her out here. Hope she'll be quiet now. Hard for me to enjoy wine...well I always enjoy wine, but not as much when she's around. You have any silver? Bartender keeps going on about a tab," the giant man said. I wanted to make myself known here, but 3 against 1 odds were not in my favor. I was a skilled warrior, but not an idiot.

"That's Princess Sun Lian, you drunken fool. And my only concern is getting evidence against Death's Hand," the ninja told him. My mind stopped working right there, and I jumped out of my hiding spot. On closer inspection the ninja bared an uncanny resemblance to the princess.

"What the fuck is going on here?" I yelled. "Clearly this is some form of treason!" Their eyes all turned to me. That's the thing about eyes. They were always watching me. Always staring, daring me to falter. I was not weak. I was strong. And the strong rule over the weak.

"It's not nice to go sneaking around following people. In fact, I outrank you now. And I don't recall ordering you to follow me. The punishment for disobedience is death," Wu stated. The giant man growled something about bloodying his axes. I don't really remember much after that. Though from my current state of being a ghost it is painfully obvious that I died.

It seems so long ago, now that I think of it. I should not be here, not like this. Stuck as ghost, wandering the Necropolis. There is supposed to be an afterlife, yet I feel no urge, no pull. I don't know where to go. I don't want to stay here. I do not sleep; I do not dream, yet I feel the cold dead eyes of my victims watching me. Always watching, waiting. And perhaps...perhaps there is a chance I was wrong in all this. Our Empire is not perfect. This isn't right. I'm sure of it...I shouldn't be here. I think...I think this feeling might be called regret. But I am not weak. I am strong. And the strong do not regret their actions. They were justified. They were for my country.

I'm stuck here for eternity. Stuck with the fact that all I've done in my life is harm other people. I see their eyes, watching, waiting. But I don't regret...I can't regret. Because then that is all I'll think about. It will be all I'll see. And I am not weak. I am strong.

No matter how many times I think it, I don't believe it anymore. I'm no longer human. I don't think I ever was.


End file.
